The Next Step

As of today I am joining a study in Kabbalah at the ARI Institute (see links or here) for a number of reasons I like you to know.

The most obvious reason might be that it is connected to a deeper understanding of the Hebrew Alphabet. As you may remember, this is how I started this blog, to indicate a kind of cover-up of letters by the words in Scripture. At the bottom of this craving for understanding lies the belief that Scripture contains a (hidden) detailed manual of what it means to be human, not in a moral or religious context, but in a spiritual context. Whatever 'spiritual' means, it is the essence of a human being. One of the most shocking things for me has been, that the 'Old Testament', and in particular the first five books of Hebrew Scripture, called the Pentateuch, contain already everything you need to know. But I feel that this statement needs more explanation than I can put into words right now and I am working on that. In fact, that is the sole purpose of everything I do nowadays, to find ways to put into words what this means.

However, as important as the understanding of the Hebrew Alphabet is, I do not expect that it will be taught in this course on Kabbalah. So, a more important reason for me to join, is to understand better what I have been experiencing in the past year that I would call a progressive revelation of divinity. This process has had a profound influence on how I view the world, humanity and my place in it. I have not found on the Internet any better references than I have already listed in the links. There is a lot of related and unrelated stuff out there that is more confusing then helping and I have listed the references that have been of most help to me. I hope, in time, that interested readers might agree on their usefulness when they check them out for themselves.

Even more reasons for joining present themselves to me. I would like to be able to communicate better what I have been experiencing as part of my efforts to share information about what I suspect is most important to every human being, namely to know oneself profoundly. As I already know, my ability to share these things will improve my own well-being as a function of the improvement of the well-being of the people I influence. So there is really no way around it for me. As I improve my efforts, my efforts' results will improve and with time, it may prove the most exciting and fulfilling endeavor I could have ever dreamed of.

It has been an enormous relief for me to find that there are other people teaching in this area, even if it is only at the basic level. It paves the way for more profound interest among people of all nations. I admit that I at first was terrified by the idea that I could be the only one with an understanding of the profound implications of my discovery. The immense contradiction of feelings that comes with this realisation is indescribable. Not just the feeling of being alone, but knowing that I actually must face the possibility that loneliness is a fundamental property of who I am in a world full of people, is pure horror.

Happily for me, I am passed that stage by conquering this fear by embracing my experience in love. Now I feel that I am unstoppable, because this transformation of fear into love will continue forever. In fact, that which scared the hell out of me at first, has proven to be the door to another Life, where 'I' do not matter any more or less to myself than you.